Lets not focus on the fact that I’m posting again barely 2 days after my last post (technically 3 days as it’s currently 2:26am but lets not dwell on that) coz if I do I may just psych myself up to post regularly and I’ll just crash and burn in failure. 😂
Anyway, today I wanted to touch on something I mentioned in passing in my come back blog post. And it is about the human self being inherently selfish and the self being number one priority. If you know me in real life you will have heard me mention this before but one thing I most definitely got from my mother was the size of her heart. I care about the people in my life – alot. So much so that in turn I’m left hurt by their actions sometimes. Why I hear you ask? Because they do things I myself could never imagine myself doing to them. And the killer is the fact that in most instances they don’t even realise how much their actions have hurt me.
Reading that paragraph back I wonder on what the person reading this is thinking? Maybe that I’m just an over sensitive person who should man up and grow a back bone? And if I’m so butt hurt by peoples actions than maybe I should confront them about it? Trust me I’ve asked myself the same question many times over and maybe I should. But its not that easy and I hate confrontation lol. Ridiculous I know.
I guess I should be used to it. Fact is: Not all hearts are created the same. Things I could never even contemplate doing to another person, others do without a second thought. And it’s just the way life is I suppose, as the way how I will always consider other peoples reactions to my actions – same as my mum – others don’t do the same. Maybe it’s because I just don’t mean as much to them as they do to me, or maybe they would do the same to anyone else in their life, who knows. One thing I do know is that I’m fed up of feeling like this over it and people. So how do I get over it? Maybe confrontation is the way forward – but if I’m honest I don’t see that happening anytime soon, whether that be with past situations or future. Or maybe I should build a thicker skin and just accept the fact that people don’t think about their actions and its affects on people the way I do.
What I’ve come to realise however is that the way to move on from this is to just accept it as is; not all hearts are created the same. And so when people do things that hurt – believe it was not done with the intention to hurt and move on. Forgive them for the hurt they caused, without ever saying they did it in the first place. Why not tell them I hear you ask? Well partially it is because I hate making people feel bad about their actions, esp if they didn’t do it with the intention to hurt. But another reason is because if the action was done with the intention to hurt – there is nothing worse than empowering that person with the knowledge of letting them know they got to you.
Maybe I’m going about this the wrong way, who knows. Let me know what you think in the comments below?