You ever just get that urge to write? I do. I want to write but I don’t know how much to say, how deep to get on such a public platform – although lets be honest I doubt there’s many of you out there reading this.

I think what still takes me by surprise is the unpredictability of life. If we ignore my last post on Sabr & Shukr and look back at the 4/5 month gap between that and the post before it – my gosh have things changed. For good and bad. And I have found myself in situations which I would never have imagined I would end up in. But I guess everything happens for a reason right?

I always knew things in life are not meant to be permanent. After all, this life is temporary. But even still, when things like friendships end – something you expect to last a lifetime – it can still take you by surprise.

My initial reaction? – Hurt, upset, anger, resentment. All the emotions basically. But as with everything, time is the best healer. And after a while you stop feeling emotion towards the memories you once shared with people you thought would be in your life forever. Instead you just feel indifferent to it. Well at least that is what I’ve found so far.

It’s a shame really, but I’ve come to understand that nothing in life lasts forever, not really. Esp with relationships, because at the end of the day, people change.

However I will say as with every aspect of life that which I’ve found so far – when one door closes, another – more often better and brighter one opens. Which is what I have found in this instance. Alhamdulillah.

I won’t get all too deep here but what I will say is – life has a funny way of throwing people together. 2 individuals lives’ could have crossed at several different points in time, but they keep missing each other until the time is just right. And only after, through conversations do you realise how many years earlier your paths could have crossed, had it not been for something as simple starting a new job mere weeks after the other left.

Whether a relationship (friendship/romantic or otherwise) with someone lasts forever or not, there is still a lot of growth and personal development to take from it. After all, it is from our interactions with others that we learn and make mistakes and correct them right? Such is life.

Sometimes I wonder whether I give too much of myself out to people too quickly that puts me in a vulnerable position. After all, as I’ve mentioned in a previous post – not all hearts are created the same. And indeed, in order to protect and guard myself, I’ve tried to hold back somewhat. However that backfired greatly so maybe that is not the way to go about this.

And also if I’m being honest – it’s not in my nature to hold back. You could say my heart is too big (thanks for passing that on to me mum(!)) in that when I give – I give fully and don’t hold back. And when I say ‘give’ I don’t mean material things, rather feelings and emotions and love in any relationship I have with anyone. I don’t necessary expect the same in return, because at the end of the day everyone has a different nature, but I just hope it is appreciated? Maybe.

As usual this was probably a rambley mess (pretty sure I ended my last post with this same line. Whoops) but let me know what you think? Do I ever make sense in what I write though really? To be honest I just enjoy writing. I should probably start writing about current affairs since I’ve been saying I will for ages.

Peace & Love

T x

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