Hi, Hello, Is anyone out there?

This time around I’m going to do things differently. I’m not going to do the whole spiel of where I’ve been, why didn’t I blog when I said I would blah blah, because if I’m honest I don’t think anyone is even reading this page anymore. So right now I am just writing for me. Which in a way, is kind of the reason I started this blog in the first place. A reflection of my thoughts on things, without getting too personal and deep.

If I’m honest I think that was part of the reason I didn’t carry on blogging, for fear people who know me personally would read too much into what I wrote and make assumptions about my life. But recently I’ve come to understand I have this one annoying thing about myself which is that I care too much about people. Care too much about keeping people happy, caring about what they think of the things I do, the choices I make etc. And for too long I’ve allowed people and their opinions to dictate what I do with my life.

For too long now I’ve allowed people to be the reason behind my happiness. And only recently I’ve come to the conclusion that that is completely the wrong way to look at things and indeed life in general. Because the human self is an inherently selfish being. There’s no 2 ways about it, it’s a fact whether you like to hear it or not. Yes of course some people are more selfish that others, but at the end of the day the self is number one priority. I guess that’s where I’ve failed at life because I’ve always put peoples happiness above my own, and indeed relied upon people for me to be happy. Which is such a stupid thing to do I know now. Because at the end you need to be happy with yourself by yourself, without the need for people to be happy.

It’s actually kind of crazy how much things can change in a few short months. At the beginning of summer I thought I’d graduate, find myself a new job and continue about my mundane life as usual. I guess its true when they say you can’t predict the future right? People have left my life in ways I never imagined possible and others have come into it without me even realising what happened. In all honesty I’m a bit confused and lost as to the direction of my life right now, but that’s okay! Priority is self. Just got to keep that at the forefront of my mind and I should be okay?

I don’t know if any of this has made much sense and I doubt anyone is reading this anyway – but if you did and actually got this far please let me know your thoughts in the comment section below. What do you think? Is the human self an inherently selfish being?

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