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i dont like you

When I was little I always wanted everyone to like me in school. It didn’t matter if we were necessarily friends and ate lunch on the same table or not, I just wanted people to like me. And of course that wasn’t always the case.

I actually remember this one time two girls in primary school made me cry because they said they didn’t like me. No reason, just that they didn’t like me. Imagine crying just because two people don’t like you?! Ha, I was such a wuss growing up.

You’ll be pleased to know I have since grown up and grown a thicker skin when it comes to people liking me or not. But anyway, getting back to the point of this post. There is one girl on my course at uni, who doesn’t like me. Don’t ask me why, I don’t think I’ve even spoken to her by choice before, unless its been in group settings. The vibe she gives off is that she doesn’t like me. No reason whatsoever. And you know what? I don’t like her either. I think I actually came to this conclusion just before I began my last final of this semester.

We’re all human and we all have differences. We weren’t created all the same, so it’s natural we won’t all like each other/ get along. So why do we all try to be so? Or, if we’re not trying to be likeable – why are we always trying to find a reason for why we don’t like someone? Why can’t we just say we don’t like someone for the sake of not liking someone. There doesn’t have to be hard feelings between you and the person you don’t like, it is just a fact that you don’t like them.

I realised this was the case with me and the girl at my university. There are no hard feelings between the two of us (how could there be – we’d barely spoken to each other!) but we just don’t like each other. And this is okay! For whatever reason, we are just not on the same level, it’s just a fact of life.

As I’ve grown up I’ve come to realise you can’t please everyone in life, which is okay. You shouldn’t try to make everyone happy, because the minute you try to please everyone, you put yourself second. And why put yourself second for someone you don’t even like? It’s not worth it, so why even try.

I was speaking to a friend of mine earlier this evening and she was stressing over the fact there was a girl she currently works with, that she doesn’t like. Her actually words were “I mean. I shouldn’t NOT like her… But there’s something a bit weird about her…” to which I replied: “You don’t HAVE to like everyone you come to meet in life. There doesn’t have to be a reason behind it, you’re allowed to not like someone just because. And vice versa”. And it’s true. Because if you think about it – why SHOULD you have to like everyone you meet in life, why force yourself? That benefits no one. If you don’t like someone, you just don’t. Leave it at that. And when I say this I don’t mean you should be mean to this person, or pretend to like them excessively. Being civil never hurt anyone, I just don’t see the point in making more effort then the bare minimum with someone you don’t particularly care about.

Something which relates to this idea of liking everyone and making everyone like you is the matter of how much effort you make with people. I think its human nature that we always try to please people and make an effort to make them like you. And I now ask why? Of course we should make a certain amount of effort. But it shouldn’t be more than the other person is investing. Esp if you don’t necessarily like the person, why are you trying to make them like you so much? Personally I’ve come to realise there is no point in trying to make everyone like you – because it is just not possible. And that doesn’t mean you’re a horrible person – its just life.

To anyone reading this, I would love to hear your thoughts! What do you think? Should we always strive to make everyone like us, and do we have to like everyone we meet along the walk of life? Let me know in the comments below!

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